Posts Tagged ‘birthday’

Ghosts at the Weatherford

February 19, 2015

Like clockwork, on day four of my road trip I hit my cranky existential crisis. It didn’t help that for this trip, day four overlapped with my birthday, which always makes me a little bit cranky. So double crankiness.

I had a wonderful visit with two parts of the family that I never get to see, and then hit the New Mexico roads. About an hour in, my crankiness descended.

I’ve never liked birthdays, but I hate telling people that, because they nod their head and say, “yep, getting older sucks.” That’s not it. I’m cool with getting older, if for no other reason than it releases some of the societal expectations that get forced on younger people.

It’s the ghosts of birthdays past. I’ve had some great ones, and whether I’m consciously remembering them or not, I think my brain tries to hold each new one to ridiculously high standards. I don’t really like that about my brain.

Last night I sat and listened to the Italian study group that was inhabiting the upstairs saloon at my historic (haunted, of course) hotel. The ghost of my last trip, to Rome and Venice, was floating about, but it wasn’t making me feel all nostalgic and wanderlusty. It just felt like I was trying to be manipulated into a good mood.

(By the way, 100% sounds really cool in italian. Cento perciento. Or something like that.)

The facilitator, who is from San Diego and has a very large family, was very cute, but this was a closed group and my Italian skills are below remedial. I moved over to the mostly empty ground-level bar for another cocktail (apparently all the kids were in the basement bar playing trivia), but I didn’t really engage with anyone and booked it upstairs pretty early, hoping to see a ghost. Because how can a too-young college kid at the bar compare with a pair of honeymooners who died in a murder/suicide in room 54? He can’t.

… Yeah, I think this bit of my brain that is fixated on ghosts may not be the most healthiest thing for my real-life relationships. Something to think about on the long desert roads scheduled for day five.

(Also, it’s just painful to listen to college kids hit on each other in halting Italian. “Can I dance? Oh, DO I dance. Yes.”)

Your video for the day: Senza Fine, the best part of the horrible 2002 film Ghost Ship, with a bizarrely creepy background image.

Sitting around in anticipa…

February 17, 2011

My List of 32 Things

I really like lists. At the same time, I’ve never been able to get into the “bucket” list; it kinda creeps me out. Besides, if you have an indeterminate time period in which to complete a list, it takes the pressure off.

So when I saw the idea bopping around the internets (sorry, too many places to remember where I saw it first) of a list for all the things I want to do before my next birthday, I thought that sounded nifty. I actually started it at the end of 2010, and I’ve accomplished a few items on it already. I’m still going birthday to birthday, mind you, just to cheat and give myself a couple extra months. So there.

1. Listen in on a seisiun in a Dublin pub. (update: Airline tickets purchased for next month! WOot!)

2. Find a literacy or women’s advocacy non-profit that I would be pleased to fundraise for.

3. Use my motorcycle license.

4. Drive to the end of the road in Alaska. Could possibly be combined with goal #3.

5. Finish uploading my 500+ CDs & 100+ vinyl to my computer. Finished! Only 6 months after I got my first iPod!

6. Take enough quality photographs to fill the Groupon portfolio book I ordered. I think I’m there! Luckily, I don’t need a slew. Just enough.

7. Create something at Albany Bulb.

8. Climb a 5.10c.

9. Actually sustain a (small) savings account, and start (small) on a House Down Payment fund.

10. Go horseback riding on the beach.

11. Take a self-defense class.

12. Finish a sweater for myself.

13. Run a MobMov guerilla drive-in.

14. Read “Infinite Jest.”

15. Submit 10 short stories to fiction magazines/anthologies OR get 1 accepted. Either will make me happy.

16. Finish editing and submit a novel to between 1 and 30 agents.

17. Trespass somewhere awesome and take pictures.

18. Place in the top 10 in a BANG (Bay Area Night Game).

19. Act on stage in some community production.

20. Work on my hospice volunteer commitment.

21. Swim in a mountain lake.

22. Sleep on a beach.

23. Start attending that amazing Greek Orthodox church I remember from college.

24. Watch the Leonids from the hood of my car out where the skies are clear.

25. Have dinner somewhere that it could be said I was “dining.” Like the French Laundry.

26. Find a natural hotspring.

27. Buy a stranger a drink.

28. Find at least 3 reasons to wear my Dark Garden corset.

29. Finish the 100 pushups challenge. (I should really swap this one with #28, if I want to do it right.)

30. Finally hold that Tom Waits party we’ve been talking about forever.

31. Bike that really big hill right by my work in all one go. Hell, yeah. I DOMINATED that hill.

32. Make or buy a Murphy bed that will work for my bizarre space. This may actually be the most challenging item on the list, but I’m… well, if not completely assured of success, at least determined to give it the old college try. See, I don’t think I can buy one; I’ll never find one that will fit my teeny, awkwardly shaped room that also fits into my budget. So DIY it shall be. Shudder. I never did get in the measure twice, cut once lesson. But my garden gate is still standing and swinging, so here’s to wishing.

Here’s to wishing! And to birthdays. And to goals.

On the day of my birth

February 18, 2010

I’m actually ridiculously proud that I managed to hide my birthday from Facebook. I wasn’t sure I could do it, with the whole privacy discussion surrounding fb, but I did. So, as planned, I only got a few birthday phone calls from family and close friends, and one dear friend who texted me after her Wii fit reminded her.

I’m not sure why I feel so bleh about birthdays. I’m definitely not worried about aging; not only am I still ridiculously young, my mental age is far, far younger. I’m still in knee-socks in my mind. And sometimes in reality. Like last weekend.

I think a part of it is that this is a low time of the year for me. I’ve decided I have an extremely long-cycle mild manic-depression; some months out of the year I’m on a high, some I’m on a low. I think my cycle has shifted a bit, since I’m pretty high right now, but normally around February it’s like I’m on a month-long sugar crash.

Plus, they’re just not all that exciting. I don’t like getting revved up for birthdays, because they always feel anti-climactic. The day dawns, and… nothing changes. Yaddita yaddita. Surprises are always nice, but I’m not a huge gift person, and if I do get all excited and start looking forward to it, I get disappointed. Not because I don’t have a wonderful birthday, but because I don’t really know what I was looking forward to.

Cake? I never deny myself cake anyway.
New books and clothes? Thanks to thriftstores, see above answer.
Surprises? A surprise lasts a whole second. Maybe three.
Birthday song? Please. I could go a lifetime without hearing that damn thing again. And that awkward grin that you paste on your face while everyone sings except for you? I’d rather have people belt out “Blaze of Glory” and let me take the chorus.

So I am going to have a wonderful day today, with shmancy cocktails at Bourbon and Branch and Moroccan delicacies at Tanjia, but other than that, I’d really prefer to pretend like it’s any other day. Otherwise I’ll get too wound up and let down. But it is a wonderful opportunity to talk my loved ones into buying me drinks and making them come out and party.

I got an iPod Touch. That is too freaking much. Everything else rescinded. My b-day was a lovely day.