On the day of my birth

I’m actually ridiculously proud that I managed to hide my birthday from Facebook. I wasn’t sure I could do it, with the whole privacy discussion surrounding fb, but I did. So, as planned, I only got a few birthday phone calls from family and close friends, and one dear friend who texted me after her Wii fit reminded her.

I’m not sure why I feel so bleh about birthdays. I’m definitely not worried about aging; not only am I still ridiculously young, my mental age is far, far younger. I’m still in knee-socks in my mind. And sometimes in reality. Like last weekend.

I think a part of it is that this is a low time of the year for me. I’ve decided I have an extremely long-cycle mild manic-depression; some months out of the year I’m on a high, some I’m on a low. I think my cycle has shifted a bit, since I’m pretty high right now, but normally around February it’s like I’m on a month-long sugar crash.

Plus, they’re just not all that exciting. I don’t like getting revved up for birthdays, because they always feel anti-climactic. The day dawns, and… nothing changes. Yaddita yaddita. Surprises are always nice, but I’m not a huge gift person, and if I do get all excited and start looking forward to it, I get disappointed. Not because I don’t have a wonderful birthday, but because I don’t really know what I was looking forward to.

Cake? I never deny myself cake anyway.
New books and clothes? Thanks to thriftstores, see above answer.
Surprises? A surprise lasts a whole second. Maybe three.
Birthday song? Please. I could go a lifetime without hearing that damn thing again. And that awkward grin that you paste on your face while everyone sings except for you? I’d rather have people belt out “Blaze of Glory” and let me take the chorus.

So I am going to have a wonderful day today, with shmancy cocktails at Bourbon and Branch and Moroccan delicacies at Tanjia, but other than that, I’d really prefer to pretend like it’s any other day. Otherwise I’ll get too wound up and let down. But it is a wonderful opportunity to talk my loved ones into buying me drinks and making them come out and party.

I got an iPod Touch. That is too freaking much. Everything else rescinded. My b-day was a lovely day.


2 thoughts on “On the day of my birth

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  1. Girl, I am WITH you on the birthday thing . . . every year right before mine, I get really really REALLY cranky and depressed. Not sure why, but it happens like clockwork every year . . . I’d rather just not “do” birthdays and be done with it. Maybe starting this year.

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