I am heartily tired of everyone cheerily talking about how 2010 is already looking so much better than 2009!! : ) ; ) !!! emoticon, emoticon, etc….
Okay people, first of all, you’ve only had, like, a week. Not enough time for you to mess it up yet. And secondly, it’s not been so cheery for everyone, so shut it!
Shoot, is there a “don’t blog while grumpy” rule? Maybe there should be. Oh well, screw it.
I’m not sure if it’s the seasonal blues, long-phase manic-depression, or just a stressful time of the year at my work, but I always find myself blue and cranky around this time. It usually starts a little later; I love New Year’s Day, and I always try to spend it doing a tiny bit of everything I want to do throughout the year. Usually that includes a wee road trip, cooking a great dinner, writing, getting lost, taking the dog for a run… This year I stayed in bed. Until January 4th. Watching Dr. Who and Torchwood marathons.
Now normally, I think taking a little time to do nothing and sit on my ass is a good thing, especially when I’m stressed from work and exhausted from holiday festivities. But this was different. I was desperate to DO something, to make something, to knit, take a photo walk, get lost, trespass. And the longer I did nothing, the more frustrated with myself and depressed I became.
I think I’m clawing my way out. I started small, posting a load of stuff on craigslist. Easy, can be done from the safety of my bed. But once the crate had sold ($40 bucks, rock on!), I had extra space. I had to move the filing cabinet into that space, but it had the Christmas tree on it, so I had to take that down, and put Christmas stuff away, and that started me thinking about what else I could get rid of, and before you know it, I’ve got a box of things heading for Goodwill, a rug waiting to be picked up on the curb, and $40 to spend at Michael’s for hat-making supplies. I’m thinking folded velvet, with fobs, and a hinge on the top where a little sparrow pops out. I think that’s totally do-able.
Maybe my creative aspirations are a bit lofty. But every once in a while, I meet them. I finish a novel. I carve and paint a decorative niche. I knit a sweater. And I’m never happier as I am when I’m working towards them. I just need to remember this, and stop thinking that sitting on my ass is what I want.
So. Despite my resolve to never resolve anything, I do have a resolution. No TV for a month. I’ve done it before, I can do it again. And I might just get something done this month!